LOVE ♥

Sunday, October 24, 2010 @4:08 PM

it hurts suddenly.
pain.
have you feel it before?
pain that can leads to numb?

Mum on the phone with father's sister-in-law, talking about my father's death.
Now then they get to know that the fact is my father is dead.
what is family? why must hide? hide the fact that my father is dead.
and why must come and ask about him now when he is going to be dead for 2 years.
i may seem okay when my father passed away, but im not. Same to my dog. Same to her.
if you know me well, sometimes i just have to put on an act.
so painful.

have you experience it before?
less than 2 years, your father passed away, next your beloved dog and next your loved one leave you?
you think im made from what? metal?

I dont dare to think about it.
Cause i dont want to feel it inside.
Am i not strong enough?
Its too much.
Sometimes, i hope someone can come and save me.
i thought, you at least will be there for me.
You said you will. But you left.
You gave me another pain to endure.
I'm not hoping you to come back.

So much pressure.
Thinking back to ite life, FUCK YOU MISS CHONG.
heartless teacher.
I wont forget what you said to me when my father passed away.
fuck you really.
forcing me to say when i dont want to say, saying things to me when you know its hurt so bad.

i believe this blog, no one is reading it.
Cause im gone for so long and back.
3 years i guess.
its good, cause this is where i can write how i actually feeling.

All i want now is to be happy.
But the simplest thing is the hardest to get.
I dare not hope anymore.