TICK TOCK ..TICK TOCK.. TICK TOCK..
the time is passing so slowly.
soooooo S L O W . . .

its not good.
its happening.
now.

i saw you two days ago.
you were smiling very happily.
your laughter, your voice, everything.
we used to be like last time.
but..

its in my dreams.

there are so many times i wanted to know what/how you are doing and listen to your voice.
but i keep reminding myself about what you have said to me.
it holds me back from calling/msg you.

you used to be my sunshine,
but you are my rain now.



imubadly.

im sorry.
im sorry to my friends.
to make you worry so much for me.
thanks for everything.
being there for me when i needed accompany.
hopefully, one day i'll be fine.
not hopefully but it will, just that no one know when it will come.
im sorry for myself too.

hoping things will be better but things turn the opposite.
you made me pin up my hope high and trash it.
not once. but a few times.
you are so cruel this time.

you only realise till now.
isn't that a little too long?
i dont know whether you are speaking from your heart or what.

friends. you said this is what we are all along.
FUCK YOU.
though we didnt talk much but all the things you said is already fucking hurting.

All my plans for you have now been thrashed.
i will not use my plan for you to someone else.
it was suppose to be yours but you didnt give me the chance to do it.

how stupid am i?
i still want you back.
i asked you whether if you can not go.
you thought i was asking you not to go home.
wtf.

COME ON ZIHUI!
friends have been trying to knock some senses into you!
but everyone knows who can help her.
me, myself and i.

yesterday was the worst day i ever had.

byebye wendy!
take care.
dont eat too much when you're there.
i'll miss you but not as much as someone. lols.

dont take me for granted,
i said.
they understand it.

i dont know whats the problem now.
but i have been watching tv about eating disorder.
yesterday, the net isnt working at all so all i can do to watch tv.
watched tyra banks show"addicted to thin"
this girl is thin and wants to be more thin and therefore she took a drug dont know call coacine?
forgot how to spell.
anw, to like help her in losing weight. and she feel good everytime after she go to the toilet after vomiting.
one day, she jus fainted outside her house, she nearly died from that.

today, was on my way to work, saw your message that u dont feel well, wanting to vomit and faint.
im scared. very.
i was so worried and afraid that you might faint anytime.
what if you are like the girl i saw on tv?passed out and nearly died from that.
its just a "what if".

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Eating_Disorders/peacelovehope/laxatives.html

giving an whatever look now?
cant be bothered?

you are not fat.
really.
you once said before,
love me for who i am.
yes, people love you for who you are,
but are you loving yourself?
doing this to your body.

maybe you have stopped taking now, i dont know.
but please dont take it anymore, alright?

yesyes, naggy.
then dont read.
i type what i want here.

its already 7.31am in the friday morning!
and i havent go to sleep.
ITS GOOD FRIDAY!
MAY PEACE BE WITH YOU!
=)





i dont feel ________________.
i doubt i will be able to do that.

so bored.
how bored?
very.

how come?
i dont know.
just feel very bored.
life seems to be meaningless.
so dull.

you light up my life.
you gave me hope.
lalala..

love is like the wind,
you can't see it,
but you can feel it.

i
a
m
s
o
b
o
r
e
d
.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!
ILOVEYOU KEN-KEN CUTTLEFISH.
=)

i feel so ____.
i dont know how to describe it.
i am a listener and always be one.
people come and go as they like.
i can predict it.

i wonder if one day, who will be theirs?
who can they turn to?
everyone would say, come to me then.
but will you give the same treatment that the person once gave?
as patience as she is?
actually, everyone can be very patience and listen.
the difference is the feeling.

is not whether its once given and its time to return the favor.
its so hard to find one.
when this person finds you, she really hope you could be the one there for her.
its so heartbreaking when you found out that she cant be the one.

friends friends friends.
you can have many of them, but its hard to find someone to listen to you.
out of so many.

ling, im not refering to you. really. i som-ba!
im thinking and reflecting.

i think im living my life everyday with a mask on.
pretending to be happy,okay with everything even when im not.
this is call what?
yes. running away.
i dont know what im thinking.
dont like to think.
so i just type what im thinking now.
i hate the word kelian.

okay, i keep watching the video about MK.

I guess wendy was the one who keep asking her to jump! jump! faster.
which suddenly makes me think that martina is giving birth!
and wendy is the JIE SHEN PO.

W:FASTER! GO! SIT ON IT! (FASTER! GO!PUSH IT!)
MK:WHY IS IT REALLY NOT BURSTING? (WHY IS IT REALLY NOT COMING OUT?!)
W:PLEASE! JUMP! (PLEASE!PUSH!)
MK: DONT LAH! IM REALLY SCARED LAH! ITS REALLY NOT BURSTING! (DONT LAH! ITS REALLY NOT COMING OUT!!)
W:JUMP!JUMP!JUMP!(PUSH!PUSH!PUSH!)
BACKGROUND PPL SHOUTING 1! 2! 3!
W:JUST JUMP!FASTER! JUST JUMP ON IT!(JUST PUSHHHH! FASTERRR! JUST PUSHH!!)

FINALLY! bomb! (finally, the baby came out. *cries*)
CONGRATS, YOU JUST BURST IT. (CONGRATS,YOU JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A GIRL.)

okay, i know.
im crazy huh.
thanks for knowing that.
but really felt that its like a process of giving birth.

martina, is your face like this now? -.-''
lols. what to do? you still love me what.
hoho.
=D

martina!
here's something for you!
DAMN FUNNY LAH.
YOU CHAO AH GUA.
keep whining and whining.
luckily, they never start video when you keep whining.

ON YOUR SPEAKER LOUD LOUD!

winnie 21st birthday-MK dare



my mother saw the video.
she was like" aiyo martina lai de ah? why like boy like that?! SO CUTE!"
omg, mk she say you cute leh in the video.
so u better stop asking me to lie to my mum about you leaving your hair long!
so bad of you. LOLS.

MY MOTHER LAUGHING OUT LOUD LAH!
FUCK IT.

WOOHOO!
exams are over, holidays are here!
no more early mornings for me. hehe
banking paper for nehnehpok tml, good luck! =)

was suppose to go watch the leap years today but end up i dont feel like going out.
winnie told me she have to go home cook dinner,
I WAS DAMN SHOCK, VERY.
asked me if i wanna go over and cook together but i wanna stay home.
shes cooking cabonara.
reminds me of kaixin. she cook damn nice. told her she have a bright future ahead.
i know its dumb lah. to like just based on one dish - cabonara.
but i have confidence in her. of course, my goody friend, AH BUI.
kaixin, i bet you dont even read my blog. u makan ta it. anw, for your info, i always read yours. but you never update anymore. angelia eh- i read yrs too kay. lols. fair fair.

i notice i dont have "alot" music talent friends.
lols. other than debbie wong, no more? should be a few huh?lols.
should i include winnie?
she only know a few ER GE and some chords? do you still remember how to play?
whatever lah.
i wanna learn one song lah.
teach me, will you?
but you must be patience enough. =)

i wanna go campinggggggggggggggggg.

OMGOMGOMGOMG!
DAMN EXCITED FOR LATER!
HOHO.
HOPE EVERYTHING TURNS OUT SMOOTHLY.
WAHAHHAA.
LUCK LUCK LUCK.
quite happy today. =)

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY WINNIE!

let's enjoy ourselves tomorrow.
=D

so cold~!
is the weather recently cold or im the one with the problem?
i have been feeling very cold these few days.
whether i on the fan or not, i feel very cold
so cold that my hands are not warm at all, its cold.
warm my hands will you?
..

i never knew i <3 you so deep till today.
its was so painful than the previous time you said to me.
what happened?
its repeating.
doing anything is a torture to me now.
you gave me the courage and you took it away now.
i bet you don't even remember.
everything is nothing now.
so how can i console myself?
its a lesson a third party will eventually get in the end?
then i feel sorry for myself.
tell me things, alright?
not today.
i don't want pity.
numb is all i need now.
lock it, close it.

hugs please?
anyone?

i guess im right.
so what should i do next?
maybe i shouldnt have said hi and all to her that day.
things won't be this way, i guess.
im left with nothing.

♥audrey
♥angelia
♥beverly
♥cherie
♥cheryl ♥cindial
♥cuiping
♥christina
♥darren
♥debbie
♥fancy
♥ginny
♥howard
♥janice
♥jessie
♥jessica
♥joyce
♥kaixin
♥kelly
♥ken
♥merilynn
♥martina
♥paulyn
♥pohyi
♥randall
♥sayting
♥sharon

♥tingyi
♥wanying
♥wendy
♥xinyuan
♥yizhi
♥yuru



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